Everything you want to know about gaslighting: signs, types, symptoms

Gaslighting is a form of psychological harassment in which a person or group causes someone to question their health, true opinion, or memories. People who get gas light often feel confused, anxious and insecure.

The term comes from a play and a movie both named “Gaslighting”. In the story, the husband attempts to manipulates and torture his wife to convince her that she is going mad.

Gas lighting, whether known or not, is a type of tactic. Gas lighting can occur in many types of relationships, including those with bosses, friends and parents. But another destructive form of gas lighting is when it occurs in a duo relationship.

Synonyms of Gaslighting

There are many words to describe Gaslighting. Some are given below as

  • abuse
  • manipulation
  • brainwashing
  • deception
  • intimidation
  • emotional abuse
  • psychological abuse
  • mental abuse
  • psychological violence
  • psychological warfare
  • head games
  • mind games

these all words have the same meaning. One should be aware of such kind of words that may occur some way or another.

What are the Types of Gaslighting?

There are many types of gaslighting. May occur in other face but core remains same. Some types are explained below:

The Straight Up Lie

Direct lies are less harmless but still very harmful. This type of lying is aim to cover up the confidential conduct.

the cheating spouse may lie about where he or she was, what he or she was doing, with who he or she was, how much time he or she spent doing things, or where the money was actually going.

This type of lying creates a deep sense of mistrust in the relationship, as partners are often surprised by the ‘easy’ cheat they face on. It also creates a double whammy of betrayal of partners because they feel betrayed by some important people but also betrayed by themselves by believing in lies.

Reality Manipulation

Real deception can make you feel like you’re losing control of your mind over and over again. This is because your ability to see reality and to trust your memory and judgment is exactly what the cheating partner is attacking and trying to destroy.


The term scapegoating is defined by dictionary.com as, “the act or practice of blaming another person or failing another, such as diverting attention or commitment away from you.” The most common way I see it is that fraudulent clients use scapegoating to secretly seek to blame their partner in order to excuse themselves for their sexual activity.


Compulsive behaviour includes a scale ranging from what I call charm to annoyance on the one hand, to harassment or violent behaviour on the other. In the middle there is pressure and deception.

The Beauty of the Attack

Men and women who hide their cheating methods may become infamous. Using ingenuity, humour, and Olympic deceptive ability, they know how to incorporate enticing situations with endless forms. It can be seen as taking on seductive care, or having sexual attraction and flirting, or having fun and playing, or trying to cry out for pity.

Pressure and Manipulation

In this type of coercive behaviour, the cheating partner pressures their significant other through verbal manipulation or emotional manipulation or a combination of the two.

What are the signs of Gaslighting?

According to the author of the book “The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life,”

Gaslighting signs that you are a victim of gaslighting include –

  • you will no longer feel like the person you used to be with
  • more anxiety and less confidence than before
  • you often wonder if you are too sensitive?
  • feeling like everything you do is always wrong
  • you always think it’s your fault when things go wrong
  • apologizing often
  • you feel that something is wrong, but you can say what it is
  • you often doubt that your response to your partner is wrong
  • making excuses for your partner’s behaviour
  • you feel isolated from friends and family
  • finding it more difficult to make decisions
  • you feel hopeless and unhappy about the jobs you used to enjoy

Some common phrases of Gaslighting

Common gaslighting clauses and gaslighting phrases are used by the gas operator to confuse, control and destroy one’s self-esteem.

The narcissist enlightenment phrases used by a narcissist can be very dangerous and painful when used in a relationship.

Common Phrases are:

  • ‘You are just being paranoid’
  • ‘You are way too emotional’
  • ‘Stop being so insecure’
  • ‘Please stop being so dramatic’
  • ‘You are just making this up’
  • ‘Stop imagining things!’
  • ‘That never happened’
  • ‘You are just overthinking it’
  • ‘Stop exaggerating the situation!’
  • ‘Stop taking it so seriously’
  • ‘You are just misconstruing my intentions’
  • ‘You are being unnecessarily jealous’
  • ‘The problem isn’t with me; it is in you’
  • ‘You just have zero emotional security’
  • ‘I think you need help’

These are some common phrases that are used by gas lighters. Everyone need to understand this. They need to believe in themselves. Take medication help. Relax nothing going to be wrong.

Just add a word, “ I am all fine, nothing is wrong with me”.


Gaslighting is a kind of harassment makes one doubt whether they have their minds or ideas. It usually occurs in relationships and social interactions.

A person experiencing gaslighting can confuse, withdrawn, anxious, or defensive by behaviour. They may not realize that the behaviour is abusive.

People who are suffering from gaslighting can find safe ways to write evidence of abuse and build a safety plan to protect themselves from danger. A domestic violence organization or mental health professional can help a person leave or recover from abuse.

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